So…a lot has changed in the last 6 months or so! I must confess that we did not go public with
our potential adoption of Olivia because we were nervous something might fall
through. In retrospect…that was silly
and never would have been the case.
Back in mid-March Travis & I were attending an RV show
in Hampton. Yes; an RV show. We had been at the adoption thing for almost
a full year with no creditable leads…we were day dreaming of what a life might
be like if we ended up without children.
Dropping everything on a whim and RVing across the country. You know…things that you could totally do spontaneously
without children.
As we were walking into the show I received an email from a
potential birth mother…our birth mother.
We exchanged a few emails that night and informed her that she should
contact our social worker and if she was serious about her plan that we could
get the ball rolling that way. From that
point on…I know we looked at RV’s…but couldn’t tell you what, how many, or even
what city I was in. I was immediately
filled with endless hope and excitement…tempered by an internal need to keep it
real…this may, in fact, fall through.
It didn’t. She got in
contact with our social worker and a meeting was arranged to meet in
person. We all met for dinner. When she showed up…Travis & I felt an
instant bond with her. She was the most
open, honest, heartwarming person I think we have ever met. She gave us a card…a congratulations card
filled with a DVD of all of her most current ultrasound images. At this point she was 27 weeks along. She hadn’t found out the sex of the baby yet
(baby didn’t cooperate and show the goods at previous visits), and we asked if
it would be okay if she didn’t find out.
Which she enthusiastically obliged.
I can’t speak for her…but I know Travis & I both felt hopeful that
this was IT! We raced home and looked at
the ultrasound images over and over again.
We wondered…is this what it feels like?
Granted we weren’t in a doctor’s office and we had NO idea what we were
looking at…but was this it? Was this our
baby? As we attempted to go to sleep
that night, the mind still spinning from everything that just happened, we
realized the love & strength that our birth mother showed that night. She came into that restaurant alone, not
knowing us, or our social worker or who she may find. This is only the first time we will stand in
awe of her strength.
As we all moved forward with an adoption plan, we really got
to know our birth mother. We were able
to accompany her to her remaining doctor visits, took her out to eat a few
times and even met her at a local park to talk and catch up. We really formed a friendship…that quite
frankly we miss at times.
Fast forward to the evening of July 1st. Travis and I were getting ready to go to
bed. I plugged in my cellphone next to
the bed…something I started to religiously do after we met her. The plan was she was to call us when she went
into labor and we would all go to the hospital together so that we get checked
in together and stay together. Right
before I turned out the light, I saw her call come in. I knew this HAD to be it because she doesn’t typically
call this time of night. Her water
broke. OMG! This is it!!
I told her we would throw some things together and we would be on our
way to get her. She later commented that
I sounded so calm, cool and collected over the phone. I can assure you I wasn’t. After I hung up the phone, I think I turned
into the Tasmanian Devil. I’m not sure
my feet touched the ground until we got into the car.
We made it to the hospital and stayed with her in her room
through the night. Although her water
had broken…she stayed at only 3 cm throughout the night. I don’t think any of us got much sleep…well
except Travis…he can sleep through anything.
Morning came and the plan was she would start Pitocin to get
the dilation moving and contractions started.
Travis and I helped in any way we could…but totally felt useless as we
watched her labor through contractions and back labor. Again…we stood in awe of her strength and determination.
The L&D nurse somewhat jokingly said…this doctor always
seems to deliver babies at around 12:30 pm or 4:30 pm. Of course we thought this was a joke…how
could a doctor time labor to happen like that?
At 4:28 pm, Wednesday, July 2nd Olivia Grace Drewery was born
at 7 lbs. 4 oz., 20 inches long.
Did this just really happen?
Did we just witness the miracle we’ve been fighting for over 6 years to
happen, before our very eyes? Again…my
feet weren’t on the floor, I have no idea what city I’m in or what day it was…but
I remember everything that happened in that room, in that moment. We were blessed and will be eternally
grateful to our birth mother to allow us to experience the birth of our
daughter. I held one leg and Travis held
the other. With 3 good pushes, our miracle
was here! Travis cut the umbilical cord
and Olivia was handed off to the attending nurse for all the usual Apgar
tests, etc. Travis & I stood over
her and watched through years of tears. We
looked over at our birth mother and ran over to her and both hugged her and
thanked her. I told her multiple times
before, that I will spend the rest of my life silently thanking her for the
gift she has given us.
The hospital was great…they let us have a courtesy room and
allowed us to have skin to skin contact moments after her birth. We made our way to the end of the hall to our
room and bonded with our daughter. We
finally felt like a family. We left the
hospital on July 4th.
On July 10th we had a court date set for the
legal part of Olivia’s adoption. Our
birth mother wanted a semi-closed adoption.
She has requested to get an update with photos, once a year at her
birthdate. Which we are happy to oblige
to. We show up at court (without Olivia)
and we see our birth mother. We hug and
talk about what has happened over the last 7 days. She fills us in on her life and we fill her
in on how Olivia is doing. We walk into
the courtroom and we walk out no more than 10 minutes later as Olivia’s legal
parental guardians. Of course, I’m
crying. They are happy tears, but also
tears because I know we won’t see our birth mother anymore and I know (again)
the strength it must have taken to do what she just did.
We still have 6 months to complete our home study…which consists
of 3 more in-home visits from our social worker. These visits are mostly to see that our home
(nursery, etc.) is suitable for her and that Olivia is thriving.
So, in conclusion…we know we are lucky/blessed. So many times you only hear the horror
stories of adoption and you don’t get to hear the successful ones. And I get it.
You are a family now and you want to move on. Which we intend to do. This will be the last blog post. This blog will be taken down (as well as our
website) within the next month. Olivia’s
adoption is just that…it’s hers. It is
her story to tell now, not ours. She
will grow up knowing about her adoption and when/if she’s ready, she will
decide to tell it.
This post is to thank all of you for following us over our
adoption journey, allowing me to pour out our emotions over the keyboard and
helping us spread the word.
In an effort to pay it forward…please share the following
link on your Facebook timeline or via email to friends and family. This couple has been at this for quite a
while and has recently decided to go the same adoption route that we just
took. Your sharing helped us…please pay
it forward and help them get the word out!
