Where we are now: in the home stretch…well sort of!
Over 90% of our home study paperwork has been completed and submitted and we have had 2 successful in-home visits from our social worker. We have one more to go because the state mandates that it needs to be 3 face-to-face visits. Our wonderful (and very supportive) social worker said we could have completed it all in just 2 visits…since my husband & I are talkers (go figure!)…but the state mandates that we have to have 3. So the third and final visit will be a nice chat over coffee at a local coffee shop!
While this seems like a huge step…we realize that we have really just dipped a toe in the gigantic pool that is the adoption process. As we have stated before…the home study is just the first step. Once we are “approved”…meaning we, our home and literally everything in our background has been deemed acceptable to raise a potential child…we start to self-promote and continue to call on you fine folks to keep us in mind if you hear of someone thinking of adoption.
However, through our short journey down this road, both Travis & I have reflected back on how we chose this path and what/who led us to it. So many people urged us to adopt, saying…”why don’t you just adopt?” As if it was an easier alternative. Heck, we even said it ourselves a few times! We said “once we have exhausted everything we can handle with fertility treatments – we will adopt”…as if to imply…we’ll be done with the hard stuff. We had no idea, and really, why should we? We didn’t really know anyone who had adopted or had been adopted…or so we thought…
Disclaimer: I thought I would take this time to enlighten our readers on some of the myths/thoughts about what we have experienced thus far in this process. If this doesn’t interest you…feel free to stop reading now…absolutely no hard feelings. However, if you want to know a little more about the process either because you, yourself were curious or want to be understanding or supportive of someone you know going through the process…read on, my friend.
First off, I would like to clarify…I am totally NOT complaining….I am astonished at what the process entails. I am astonished, and quite frankly A-M-A-Z-E-D at the hoops and boundaries jumped & crossed by adoptive parents-to-be. If you want a true testament of a loving parent…look into the face of someone that has adopted….and then look at that child…that child is loved beyond belief…many times because they had multiple people love and care enough for them to give them the best possible life imaginable.
Although the paperwork process is grueling and intense…no stone left unturned and no skeletons in the closet...I can see the purpose in it. For instance, we have had to explore our thoughts and beliefs of things (like parenting techniques) that maybe we wouldn’t have done prior to having a child the conventional way. So many things & plans are in place now because of this process that I KNOW would not have been done otherwise. Things like: a well thought out & written fire emergency plan that includes a working fire extinguisher and a fire ladder from the 2nd floor story window to the ground, evacuation plans (that includes a “go” bag) and where we would go in the event of a community evacuation, selecting doctors for EVERYTHING…and by everything, I mean: pediatrician, mental health doctor, speech therapy doctor, physical therapy doctor, neuro-psychologist, etc.
Travis & I have said numerous times over the past few months that we feel we are finally in the right place. All the crap (and yes, I mean crap…to refresh, refer to this post) that lead us to this decision had to happen. The stars have seemed to finally aligned and are leading us down this path. Over the past few months we have met many people that have adopted and are delighted to share their (very successful) story…which is important while going through this process because unfortunately you really only hear about the unsuccessful ones. And we cannot keep count of the number of people that after hearing our news, have told us they, themselves are adopted. From people we've just met to wonderful neighbors we've known for years. It is truly heartwarming and further strengthens our determination that we are heading in the right direction.
If you made it all the way to the end of this very long post…thank you & congratulate yourself…it was a long-winded one! But more importantly, thank you for your continued support! It means more than you will ever know!
